The Silent Weight We Carry - Break This Chain
Forgiveness seems to be one of life's hardest-earned blessings, at least for me. Life will never be without its turmoil. We exist in a place where nothing is learned without deviation or failure. Our paths through this realm are never linear. I woke up this morning, as I have done on many occasions, with a heavy heart, prompting me to write this passage.
A heavy heart is one that is burdened, weighed down by layer upon layer of betrayal, loss, heartache, and failure. It's a kind of checklist of lost time, lost memories, and all the possibilities of what could have been had certain events never occurred. When in that place of suffering, it becomes of little consequence when reminded that you would not be where you are today had you never gone through that!
Once you come to realise that life is not a destination, but rather a journey from start to finish, a pilgrimage, and your final resting place is not here, it becomes easier to understand and accept that "happiness" or "contentment" is more of a path than a passing emotion, and that path will pass through deep valleys.
The Devil, a master manipulator and deceiver, will scoff at the idea of forgiveness and make you believe that it is a form of weakness, that somehow you are "letting them get away with it" or you are "letting them off". Let's unpack this for a second... "letting them off" with what? Man does not condemn Man. The wrongdoer will not "feel" your condemnation towards him. He will remain completely indifferent to it. So how are you projecting this hatred, other than back onto yourself?
"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" - Matthew 6:14-15
The Bible also shows that forgiveness is connected to love:
"....it keeps no record of wrongs" - 1 Corinthians 13:5
Anyone who has had a great unrighteous injustice done against them by another will know how challenging it can be to forgive. On my own personal journey of learning to forgive, I recall a sinful act that was done against me back in 2014 that not only angered me terribly, but it also violated my soul. For me, at the time, it was unforgivable! To this day, I still battle the demons of anger that penetrated my soul that year.
In the midst of this chaos at the time, I was filled with much anger and retribution. One day, as I was walking home in the hot, sweltering sun, I replayed a scenario of vengeance against this sinner over and over in my mind. I was chastising them with wrath and letting them know how repugnant they had become to me. It felt satisfying to be getting it all off my chest, but by the time I arrived home, I was feeling hot, flustered, and deflated. Why?
Well, it suddenly occurred to me that the entire confrontation I had just had was only in my mind. I had walked for 30 minutes in the sweltering heat, berating back and forth, condemning and teaching them a lesson, but only in my head. In other words, not one word of all that spent energy had been received by anyone, let alone the perpetrator. This wrongdoer was probably sitting somewhere enjoying themselves in that moment, laughing and relaxed, and I had just taken myself to Hell and back in an argument that didn't even exist.
It was in this moment , I believe, that my long journey of learning to forgive was born.
Withholding forgiveness becomes a heavy burden to carry over time, one that is laden with anger, contempt, bitterness, and even hatred. Your heart will carry this weight in place of the much lighter love, peace, clarity, and gratitude.
God alone has ultimate authority to condemn, and the Bible has numerous passages that allude to remind of separating the sin from the sinner. God removes our transgressions, for our transgressions are not us. We are to hand that burden up to Him.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light - Matthew 11:28–30
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